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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27658733">Alternate Supernatural Endings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgentNoelle/pseuds/ArgentNoelle'>ArgentNoelle</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonia34/pseuds/Sonia34'>Sonia34</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>badfic [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>15x20, Cheating, Deliberate Badfic, F/M, Gen, Happy Ending, M/M, OOC, Parody, Satire, Saving the Day, The sexy kind of nailing, adding insult to injury</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:43:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,538</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27658733</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgentNoelle/pseuds/ArgentNoelle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonia34/pseuds/Sonia34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Unhappy with 15x20? Read on for a plethora of humorous alternate last episodes. Some fix things. Some make things worse.</p>
<p>from chapter 1, How the Finale Could Have Been Worse: </p>
<p>"Because Dean told him, before getting nailed, at a pie festival, that when people who you love die, you should ignore them, and stuff your face instead. Sam did not want to be an eeyore. So he would move on, in honor of Dean’s denial and horrible coping mechanisms. He also vowed to never eat a vegetable again. It hurt him, but losing Dean hurt more, so he deserved it for not bringing the poor sucker back."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Becky Rosen/Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>badfic [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1907740</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. How the Finale could have been worse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>If you want to read an actually serious, episode-style fix-it for 15x20, you can check out my other fic <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27645503">There'll Be Peace When You Are Done</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dean gets stabbed in the back by a rusty nail and dies. He tells Sam not to get an ambulance because even if he doesn’t bleed out he’ll probably get tetanus anyway. Sam says ok and kisses him sweetly. Dean says you’re gross and says promise you’ll go to therapy. Sam says ok and Dean says I’m so proud of you. Sam is so sad that his unrequited love is unrequited.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dean says all those years ago, when I came to get you from school, I stood outside in the hallway for so many hours, trying to figure out which dorm was yours. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then when I did find out I stayed out another couple hours because I didn’t know what you’d say when you saw me. I thought you’d tell me to get dead. Or walk out the door and never come back. Cause you’re more like Dad than you think. But look at you. You grew up so noble Sammy. That’s why I’m proud of you. And I look up to you, literally, because you’re so tall. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sam says let me get you an ambulance. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dean says this is the most noble way to die.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sam says you basically died by being nailed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dean says can you think of anything better.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sam says dude that’s kinda gay.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dean dies.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sam is sad. He goes to find Eileen, but she has moved on. In the last couple days, because Sam did not call her back. Sam’s internal monologue tells us this is because women are cruel and fickle creatures. Sam meets the man that she is now marrying. He’s blind. Eileen tells Sam that he understands her better. Sam stares in disbelief at the horrible representation, and then cries at the loss of his one true love. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Once he gets over the death of his one true love, he decides he needs to get a new love, and move on. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Because Dean told him, before getting nailed, at a pie festival, that when people who you love die, you should ignore them, and stuff your face instead. Sam did not want to be an eeyore. So he would move on, in honor of Dean’s denial and horrible coping mechanisms. He also vowed to never eat a vegetable again. It hurt him, but losing Dean hurt more, so he deserved it for not bringing the poor sucker back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It felt out of character, but he just couldn’t bring himself to face Dean after confessing his love.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A few days later, at the grocery store, he runs into Becky. She’s been brought back by Jack, along with everyone else, but since then her husband and children died in a car crash. Sam feels sorry for her, and she still thinks he’s hot, so they get married. Sam considers this his charity work for the rest of his life. He uses this as an excuse to stop hunting. Instead he has a child with Becky. They name him Chuck, and dress him in retro dungarees.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sam spends time with his child in a montage, taking him to bars where he teaches him how to hustle people at pool. This too is in honor of his dearly departed brother.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Alternate Universe Dean and Sam, the rich snooty ones who had a global hunting company, had been in town lately. AU Sam had died by getting impaled on a sharp piece of uncooked spaghetti. This happened as he went down swinging, fighting a nest of carnivorous werewolf chefs. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>AU Dean, as we will call him, misses his brother dearly. Sam misses his brother dearly. They decide to be each other’s new brothers, and forget about the old ones. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Meanwhile, in heaven, Dean has been greeted by Ketch, who was waiting for him with a beer on the porch. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Do you know where Cas is? Dean asks immediately.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why, are you in love with him? Says Ketch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No, I’m actually 100% straight, Dean says. I just want to give him a bro hug and tell him I’m happy to see him. Is he still in the Empty?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No, says Ketch. Jack brought him back to life. You actually just missed him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dean wants to go traveling, and Ketch points to the car behind him. Dean turns around to see a rusty old truck. Dean shivers at the truck, which reminds him of tetanus. Where’s Baby? Dean says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Baby didn’t die yet, says Ketch. I stole this truck though. We can ride in it together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You’re allowed to steal in heaven? Dean asks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Guess so, says Ketch. I’ve been doing it a lot.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dean suddenly realizes this is a wonderful thing. Dude, can we be bandit cowboys together? He says.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They drive off together, kissing each other heterosexually as they drive away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>On earth, Cas appears to Sam and AU Dean, Becky and Chuck Jr. Sam is appalled by Cas’s sudden return. What are you doing here man? He asks. I’m happy to see you but geez.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jack brought me back to life, Cas explains. Where’s Dean?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh he died, says Sam. This is new Dean. We don’t talk about the old one. We’re honoring his traits of denial and bad coping mechanisms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I see, Cas says, and nods knowingly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, Cas says, I feel sad, I wanted to return and be Dean’s boyfriend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dude, Sam says, you know that Dean was 100% canonically straight, right? There wasn’t even subtext, you disillusioned twat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>AU Dean pipes up, actually, now that you bring up the subject, unlike that beta-model Dean, I’m 100% gay. (N</span>
  <span>ot bi, he whispers to the viewers, because bisexuals don’t exist.) </span>
  <span>He says, I’d date you, angel, you’re hot. Cas agrees, and proceeds to forget about previous Dean. This one’s much cuter anyway. None of them acknowledge their past prior to this episode. They are superior now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In heaven, Dean is traveling with Ketch, waiting for Sam to arrive. At last, he sees Sam walking down the road, looking disgruntled, with his hair in a man-bun. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dude is that you? Dean calls.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh, AU Sam replies snootily. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span>. No, it’s not your brother if that’s what you’re asking. I’m the better version from the alternate universe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh, says Dean. Okay.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>AU Sam says, Now excuse me if I walk down this road for another 50 years looking for my brother. Actually, can I get a ride with you too? I’m afraid my designer shoes are getting scuffed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dean reluctantly agrees. Ketch puts a heterosexual hand on Dean’s shoulder and tells him they will be ok, even with this douche in the backseat. Dean smiles, and kisses Ketch on the lips heterosexually. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh my god, says AU Sam. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What? Says Dean.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I’ve never seen someone so confident in their heterosexuality. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thanks man, says Dean, sincerely, and they drive off.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>On earth, during a hunt, Sam gets set on fire by an angry witch. AU Dean rushes to his side, dousing him with water. The fire temporarily fizzles to a more manageable size. But does not quite disappear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dude in your last moments I just want to tell you, says AU Dean, I’m gonna miss you so much. You’ve been the best brother for these past 15 years.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>You too, says Sam.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>AU Dean kisses Sam.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sam is appalled. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chuck runs into the room excitedly with an acceptance letter. Dad, I got into Stanford! He says.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sam’s eyes are wild. You’re telling me this now, when I’m almost dead? You’re leaving me NOW? Son, if you walk out that door, don’t you ever come back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chuck cries and leaves.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Meanwhile, Miracle, their pet dog, dies, and goes to hell.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cas cries tears of sadness that AU Dean has cheated on him. I thought we were going steady, he shouts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>AU Dean says, It’s his dying moments, I’m allowed some leeway. Anyway, have you seen how hot he is?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thank you, says Sam, as the flames begin to consume him once more. He screams in agony, turning to char.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cas shakes his head. It’s too bad no one brought a fire extinguisher.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I had one, says Becky. I just didn’t use it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why I thought you loved him?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I did, but I also wanted to inherit his money. That’s just how girls are, she explains. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cas and AU Dean fight over the whole cheating scandal. Cas throws a waffle iron defensively at AU Dean, who dies immediately. Cas busts into tears. Because he has hurt someone he loved. He takes an angel blade out of his sleeve and kills himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For the last few years, there has been an agreement. Since the Empty let him out, she has required that he return to her for seven days every seven months, so she can torture him horribly. Cas has gotten used to it by now. However, in this moment of true death, he goes to heaven, not the Empty.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Becky has been watching in horror with a bag of popcorn. She picks up the waffle iron and leaves, off to find herself a new man. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Up in heaven, the rusty tetanus truck is finally brought to a halt in the middle of a highway surrounded by litter. Castiel, AU Dean, and AU Sam, and Sam stand in the road tearfully. Dean gets out of the car. My god it’s you! He rushes over to Cas and hugs him. AU Dean tells him to get away from his boyfriend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What do you mean your boyfriend? You moved on? He asks Cas.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So did you, says Ketch. What happened to the two of us? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>F you, Ketch! Yells Dean. You were my rebound!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>AU Sam realizes that AU Dean has replaced him with Sam. He brings this to Dean’s attention.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dean realizes that Sam has replaced him with AU Dean.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They argue for five hours about who gets who. At last, AU Sam and AU Dean leave together. Regular Sam and Dean stay behind with Castiel and Ketch. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sam tells Dean he’ll never betray him again. Thanks man, it was so out of character, says Dean.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So like, since you sent away my other boyfriend, we’re dating now, right? Says Cas. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ew, says Dean. No. I’m straight. I’m gonna keep living with Ketch. We’re cowboy bandits. He gestures to his cowboy hat, and Ketch’s Zorro mask. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sam gets in the tetanus truck with Ketch and Dean.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I thought family didn’t end in blood, Cas yells.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s not blood, Dean points out, pointing at Ketch. I just like him better than you. They drive off into the sunset. Cas watches them leave. He cries, curling himself on a ball on the dirty highway and sobbing himself to sleep.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>On the moon, Jack sits on a lawn chair, watching the events which have transpired. Wow, he says. That plot was certainly… interesting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>I know, it was my greatest work, says Lucifer, smiling. He puts a hand on Jack’s shoulder. Jack smiles.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The End</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Supernatural Power of Porn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean is sitting in a motel, on his bed, staring at the television, watching porn.</p><p>“Dude, do you have to watch that when I’m right here?” asks Sam.</p><p>“It’s comforting,” says Dean, defensively.</p><p>“How is two guys having sex comforting?” asks Sam.</p><p>“I—I really miss Cas, man, and that one dude really looks like him. Spitting image.”</p><p>Sam leans over to look at the tv, raising an eyebrow. “How can you tell?”</p><p>Dean shrugs awkwardly, ignoring the question. Onscreen, the shot zooms out, to reveal the man’s full form. Dean’s eyes go wide. From the television, Cas stares back.</p><p>“Oh my god,” says Sam.</p><p>“Hello, Dean,” Cas says, in an even voice.</p><p>“What—Cas, how’d you get in there? You’re dead! Aren’t you in the Empty?”</p><p>“I am, I… managed to project this television frequency to your room. It was the only way I could think of to make contact.”</p><p>“Oh he’s making contact all right,” says Sam.</p><p>“I got the idea from Gabriel,” Cas replies. “And I knew I could count on Dean to keep watching. I was able to pull this off with the help of Jake here.”</p><p>The man who has been kissing Cas’s neck turns around and waves.</p><p>“Is that the guy from the State Farm ad?” Sam asks.</p><p>“Dude I think it is.”</p><p>“That’s me,” Jake admits, gesturing to a pair of khakis on the floor.</p><p>Dean is taken aback. “Is he real?”</p><p>“Yes, he’s here in the Empty with me.”</p><p>“The hell is Jake from State Farm doing in the Empty?”</p><p>“Well, he’s a demon,” Cas says, as though this is obvious. Jake’s eyes flick black, as he and Cas carry on with the R-rated activities.</p><p>“You know how many souls people sell you when you work in telemarketing?” Jake says. “It’s a lot.”</p><p>“The point is,” Cas says, “he was nice enough to help me get in touch with you.”</p><p>“Yeah, nice,” says Dean, glowering.</p><p>“Hey don’t give me that look,” replies Jake, defensively.“I don’t know how many times I have to say it, I never slept with that woman’s husband.”</p><p>“Well you’re sleeping with mine,” says Dean.</p><p>“We’re not married, Dean,” says Cas, exasperated. “And anyway, this is more important than that. I need your help to get out of the Empty.”</p><p>“There’s a way for you to come out?” Dean asks.</p><p>“Yes,” says Cas. “But first, I need Sam to leave the room.”</p><p>Sam glances at the television, looking away just as quickly. “Uh, okay. Let me know if you uh, need anything.” He leaves the motel room awkwardly and sits on a bench outside. He texts Eileen to keep himself busy.</p><p>*got kicked out of our motel room cause Dean’s watching porn of his dead boyfriend.*</p><p>*was that a typo?*</p><p>*nah, Cas got in contact, apparently he found a way to resurrect himself. They’re talking it out right now.*</p><p>Inside, Cas says, “Right now Jake and I are generating a large amount of cosmic energy. If we complete the circle with someone from the human plane, we should be able to penetrate the Empty and escape.”</p><p>“So you mean I need to…?”</p><p>“Yes,” says Cas, grimly. “It’ll be just like when you’re reading those Asian magazines when you think I’m not looking.”</p><p>Dean nods nobly. He knows what he has to do. Himself. Thankfully, despite his anger towards Jake, Cas’s television program has him in the zone.</p><p>He proceeds diligently, saving the day through the power of jerking off.</p><p>Before he knows it, Cas is slowly materializing in front of him, pulling away from the Empty, coming closer by the second. When he’s fully corporeal, Dean’s eyes well with tears. “Man, it’s really you.”</p><p>“It is,” says Cas. “Thank you Dean.”</p><p>Dean looks him up and down. “You look alive,” he says. “You look… good.”</p><p>“So do you,” says Cas. “Do you want some help with that?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t say no.” Dean had never been more emotional about the prospect of being nailed.</p><p>Cas smiles. Jake watches from the Empty, enjoying his own private R-rated film, and recording it with a hand-cam. (It gets lonely in the Empty.) When Cas notices, he turns his head. “Thank you for your help, friend,” he says, before snapping his fingers. The tv turns off, leaving them in privacy.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The Jake From State Farm Ad: https://youtu.be/47cAxRX3aDg</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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